Category Archives: Getting What You Want Insight

Sales Tales

Business Growth, Creating the Unprecedented, Getting What You Want Insight, Increase Performance, Leadership Training, Life Insight, Self Development0 comments

Peter was terrified to make the call.

You’d never guess that he would be scared to make the call. He was a good looking guy in his 30s. He had a lot going for him. He was engaged to Jill. They had met in college and fell in love and decided to make a life together. He had a great sales job with huge up side if he just made a few sales. Peter had made big promises of taking care of her and their soon to be family. But yet, there he was, sitting in his sales office staring at the phone. Horrifed.

What was it that made so cold calling so horrible. The recipients where strangers. Why did it matter to him that he would possibly be rejected by a stranger? If he would have gotten a call from someone he had never heard of before that went something like, “Hey, Peter, I found your name online, and I don’t want you to ever call me. I don’t want you to be in my life in any way,” and then that stranger hang up, would that be a big deal? No. Peter would have thought it was strange, maybe amusing and go on with his day. He might even tell the story of the funny thing that happened to him that day. “Some stranger that I’ve never heard of asked me to never call them. Isn’t that crazy?” But there he was, making up a story about that same stranger, and how he can’t go on with life if that person he doesn’t know has the chance to say no to him. Now it was a big deal. That really was crazy.

Peter had a flash of insight. He remembered how rude his fiance, Jill was to him the first time he met her. They were at a party with some common friends. Peter saw her and said something stupid like, “Red wine huh. I like red wine too.” His horror of saying something so stupid to a pretty girl he wanted to impressed was only made worse when this same pretty girl just smirked, and without a word turned her back to him to talk to her group of friends. Peter thought for sure that this pretty stranger hated him with all her heart. He would have left the party and run for safety if he hadn’t been stuck there, because he got a ride with a friend that was not about to leave. Peter spent the next few forced to stay in the small quarters of the party which kept him in eyesight of this girl that had now become a forbidden goddess in his mind. He kept himself in agony from going over again and again in his mind what he should have said instead of the Dumb and Dumber line he mumbled.

Then the story he made up in his mind about his world crumbled. This same goddess came up to him as he sat on the sofa in the corner and spoke. “Sorry I was so weird. I felt so self-conscious I couldn’t say anything. I have had two glasses of that red wine. I think I have some liquid courage. Anyway, my friends say you’re really nice so I just wanted to say sorry for being weird.”And with that opening, Peter ran with it. Three years later, there they were engaged.

Peter was sure Jill hated him, but it was just her own fears he was feeling, not him at all. Just as Peter was only thinking about himself in that interaction, Jill was only thinking about herself too. When that happens both people miss each other. Peter was started to see a pattern. The more he paid attention the more he realized people were not thinking about him at all. They were too busy thinking about themselves. This was reliving though, because so much of Peter’s energy was worried about what people thought of him. If they didn’t think of him at all it freed him to pursue his goals and make good his promises, or in this case, make some cold calls.

Could cold calling be the same scenario as the first encounter with Jill that could end just as well? Peter thought yes. With the new found story in his mind that served him much better he picked up that phone and called the first number. He got hung up on. With a smirk he said out loud, “No problem, with a few glasses of wine you’ll be back.” And he picked up the phone and called again.

3 magic words to get what you want: “How – Can – I ?”

Getting What You Want Insight, Increase Performance, Leadership Training0 comments

A small shift can make the biggest difference.

Can you feel the difference between if you were asked “what’s going on?” and “what’s wrong with you?”

Can you imagine that changing the end of your advertising message from  “Operators are standing by” to “If busy, please call again.” could increase sales by 400%?

How about the amazing the difference from hearing “I love you” and “I love you, but…”

Too often we are so focused on the big result, the big payday, the big client, or the big paycheck, that we leave unattended the small things that make the big things up. 

Today I would like to give you one small thing that will make a big difference in your life and the lives of those around you. 

It is “How can I?”

What do you want for this meeting we are in? A new client? A capable employee? The next big idea? How are you going about getting what you want? Do you even know what you want? Assuming that you do know, what are you asking yourself? i assure you that you are asking yourself something. Is it, “I hope I get that new client.” Or maybe, “I wish it were easier to find good people.” Or maybe, “I will try to make some good connections tonight.” Notice anything frilly and without backbone there? I hope so. Either way, listen up. 

Consider that what you say does matter. Consider that your words are a window into your soul and your belief system and such the blue print of your destiny. If this is true, hoping, wishing or trying is just as good as dreaming and playing the lottery. Its fantasy. I would like to propose a simple solution. 

Simple things are can be tricky. They are easy to do, and easy… not to do. 

Replace your wishing and hoping and trying and dreaming with, “How can I?” As far as the neuro-science goes, this sets you up for not a dream, but real life action. “How can I” sets you up to look for something new, and do something new and the result of those two things is getting a new result. 

How can I get that new client?” .. Really, how can you? I don’t care about the reasons you can’t. That isn’t my question. My question is How CAN you? Let your mind search for the answer. Ask it over and over. 

How can I find the people I need to do my business?” Really, how can you? I don’t care about the reasons you can’t. That isn’t my question. My question is How CAN you? Let your mind search for the answer. Ask it over and over. 

How can I make the sales numbers I want?” Really, how can you? I don’t care about the reasons you can’t. That isn’t my question. My question is How CAN you? Let your mind search for the answer. Ask it over and over. 

From here on out, no more wishing, wanting, hoping or dreaming of what you really want. Stop it. From here its about action that will make it rea. And to start the process to assure success, just use these three magic words, “How Can I?

Bound To Succeed

Creating the Unprecedented, Getting What You Want Insight, Self Development0 comments

There was once a young leader seeking the council of a famous elder that was known for wisdom and creativity and leadership. The young leader traveled far and finally stood before him. He asked, “Wise elder, how can I become the wise leader that you are?” The elder quickly said, “Making right decisions” and then was silent. After a short while of enduring the silence, surprised that there was nothing more, the young leader pressed a bit more. “Ok… thank you… Please help me wise elder, how can one such as I then make right decisions?” The elder quickly said, “Experience” and then was silent.” After another short while of enduring the silence again, needing much more, the young leader started to get frustrated and pressed again. “Please wise elder, please help me. How can one such as I get experience then?!” The elder quickly said, “Making bad decisions.”

What stops us most in life is when we stop trying for fear of making bad decisions or making a bad decision “again”. Ironically, this very process, if stayed in it, would bring you all that you have ever hoped life would give you.
So what do you want? Get clear on that. Fail forward and you are bound to succeed.

A Simple Way to Create Unprecedented Life in 90 Days

Getting What You Want Insight, Self Development1 comment

Reconnect to whats possible

All of us can probably come up with how we wish we could be.

“I wish I could be more confident.”

“I wish I wasn’t intimidated by my boss (or the pretty girl, or handsome guy).”

“I wish I wasn’t afraid to go for what I want.”

Even if we were to say “I want to be more confident.” “I want to love again.” Wanting is very similar to wishing. In the nature of the language it reveals that you do not have it. Old English actually used the word “wanting” for communicating a lack there of. If someone had a poor disposition and was not pleasant to be around, it would be said that he is “wanting a good disposition.” But knowing what you want, or lack is a good place to start. So who do you wish you could be? Who do you want to be?

To change a wish or a want into reality starts with changing your language. Our language reveals the heart. Ancient scripture says from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Language reveals what you believe. These words lead to our actions. What we will work on now is reverse engineering this process. If words reveal what you believe, then could it be possible to intention and choose the words that would reveal a belief that you have been wishing and wanting for yourself? Can you create a belief by willing it to be through language? My experience says you can.

What would that look like? If you go from saying, “I wish I was courageous”, to “I am committed to be courageous”, that’s a whole different feel. ‘Committed to’ has got more bite then ‘wish’ or ‘want’. If I asked you to meet me for coffee tomorrow morning at 5AM and you said, “I wish I could meet you in the morning,” I would not expect you to be there. Now, if you said, “Jevon, I am committed to being there,” this is a whole new level of intention. Saying that you are committed to be there creates a promise and we enter into agreement to make that event happen.

So I am committed to be courageous is good. And it is still presupposes that you are not there yet. You are committed to get there, yet you aren’t there yet. But what if you were to say, “I am courageous.” That is powerful. That is who you are right now in this moment.

This is a common thought that may be coming up for you right now. “Wait! I can’t say that! I am not courageous! That is why I was wishing for it earlier. I am scared to death of the same stuff still. What are you talking about just saying, ‘I am courageous?’”  If declaring who you are, based on who you wish you were is a stretch for you, worry not. This is normal. And trust me. This is the process of becoming who you wish you were. It’s not going to “feel” true. This is good. If everything felt right and true, that would be telling you that you are familiar with the thoughts and actions that you are engaging in. If you are familiar with the thoughts and actions that you are engaging in, this means you are in the process of creating for your life what you have always been and what you have always had. So, if you feel awkward or things and thoughts don’t feel ‘right’, this is a good sign. You are entering into new space. This is where creating and transformation happens. This is also why most people don’t change. It is often very uncomfortable to enter into this space.

You are who you say you are. Now is the time to dream. Who do you want to be? Who do you wish you could be? What are those characteristics that the higher version of you would embody? Once you make a characteristic into an “I AM’ statement, you then can easily see if your actions support or weaken that declaration of “I am courageous”.

The 90 Day New Life Exercise

Suggestion before you start:

This exercise is a process to act out. If you try to ‘figure it out’ before hand, that is like trying to find ‘the answer’ to your question. Like I mentioned above, “the answer” will only seem like “the answer” to you because it is in alignment with your past and what you already think is true. If something lines up with what you already think is true and you embrace it and think it and do it, you will end up getting what you have always had. This exercise is about creating new and abundant life. More then you have ever had. This is not a “think” exercise. This is a “do” exercise. What you think is not important here. It is all fine and good. As long as you do the steps below you will experience a possibility for new life. I promise.

Step one:

Write down at least 10 people that you admire.

Think big and out of the box. These people can be dead or alive, real or fiction, known or unknown by you.

Step two:

Now write out 30 characteristics that you admire and resonate with the most.

What are those ways of being? What is it about those people that really attract you? Keep writing until you get 30. Honesty, courage, adventurous, loving, giving, stead-fast, wise, authentic, willing to fight… Write ‘em down! Even if one comes to you that isn’t a part of any of the people you admire, put those down too. The hero and people you admire is just a great way to come up with the characteristics you resonate with the most. Getting clear on the characteristics is most important.

Step three:

Pick your top 5 characteristics.

The characteristics are reminders of who you ‘want’ to be. But remember, “wanting” is nothing more then a wish or a fantasy, which doesn’t do you much good, save take you out of the present moment.

Step four:

Write out your chosen top 5 characteristics as “I AM” statements.

You can completely change your whole life in 90 days if you are intentional about it. As with the examples above, if courage was one of your characteristics, you write, “I am courageous.” Write them as a note in your phone, email them to yourself, write them on your hand and on paper. Carry them around. Write them on your mirror and on your fridge.

Step five:

Week 1:

Pick the one “I AM” statement that you want to be true the most.

In the morning when you rise, begin with reminding yourself of all five “I AM” statements. This is who you are. Remind yourself to notice when you are or are not acting like it. Now you have reminders of all the statements so you are reminded often. This first week of this 90 process integral in the process. With that, you are going to set an alarm (on your phone or get a cheap kitchen timer) and remind yourself of your #1 “I AM” statement EVERY HOUR through out the day. Remind yourself of who you are. Remind yourself to act like it is true. Have an alarm beep or sound every hour on the hour for a week. This may take a total of 3 seconds and can be all in your head. So no, “I don’t have the time” stuff. It is the repetition for the first week that is of the utmost importance.

Recap so far: In the morning when you get up and in the evening when you go to bed, remind yourself of all five “I AM”s. This is who you say you are. And throughout the day, on every hour, remind yourself of just your #1 “I AM” statement. You can switch different statements for different days. The repetition of one of the five is the important part.


For week two you remind yourself of all five “I AM” statements 3 times a day. In the morning, at lunch and then remind yourself right before going to bed.

Weeks 3 – 12:

For weeks 3 – 12 remind yourself who you choose to be in the morning and the evening.

90 days total. This is reinventing yourself!

What you will notice:

When your actions do not match who you say you are it will be increasingly apparent. Following this plan, the habits and ways of being that you are blind to will become more and more apparent.

How you ‘feel’ during this exercise is not important. Your feelings do not matter. This is creating a new pattern in your brain and a new belief of who you are. This is creating a new normal.

The evening and morning reminder for yourself are very important. Get up and get your brain going on a path that will support you through out the day. When sleeping your body slows down, but your brain is still going! So remind your brain who you are so it can work with it and help you out while you are sleeping!

When your words and your actions are aligned in an intentional way, they create new beliefs and habits. When beliefs and words and actions are aligned with your intention, there is nothing that can stop it from happening.

Hope that is helpful!

Here are a few of the characteristics that I still remind myself that I AM.

I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
I am so thankful! I love and act on “What would love do?”
I am God’s CHOSEN ONE, Ambassador and Representation.
I am intentionally in the lives around me to re-mind. It is my soul purpose.
I am So Grateful and Thankful to God right Now for my success that I have and the success that is coming!
God Favors Me.
I am Creative, Tenacious, Confident, Decisive, Proactive, Inspiring, Skilled, Self Motivated and Disciplined. I attract similar people to me.
I SHOW UP as the one responsible. THE BUCK STOPS HERE.
I am present in every moment. I lean into the pain. I love in the face of being hurt. I empower. I remember your name.
I surround myself with those greater than me in order to better myself and go for more..
I participate fully now! I am ‘Ready to fight’. I am at the height of my physical health.
Wealth and Prosperity are continuously coming to me.
I am blessed.

A Life Experiment

Getting What You Want Insight, Life Insight0 comments

I have been thinking for a long time about getting my thoughts on life out. I believe they can bring much freedom. So, as a pit stop to an editor, I will post some writings here and hopefully get some feedback and maybe even bless some people!

Up until the last 8 years or so of my life I was under the mild persuasion of certain lingering thought. You ever get those? Its like a small voice that is only heard when you stop the feverish activity of “going for life”. It is a mood that you finally allow yourself to feel when you are too exhausted to resist any longer. It is the image you see as you look in the mirror in your bathroom after another week of not quite doing enough. That thought for me was, “I will be happy when…”

The thought is a conversation of worth, satisfaction and contribution, to name a few.

The Life Experiment is an opportunity to see the life that you have always wanted. It is a chance to free your self from any suffering that is hindering your dream come true. It is a chance to live in a question that continually will open up new chances for a glorious life. This is not a book of answers.

The problem with an answer, is that in order for you to recognize it as an answer, you have to already have the previous understanding to even recognize ‘the answer’. The reality is, the thing we call the answer is really just a familiar response to information that you have recognized because you have experienced it before. So, if you stop in any given process when you find ‘the answer’, then you will inevitably end up with some form of what you have always had. Living in a question is different. Living in a question allows you to go beyond what looks like the obvious answer to consider the new life that has always eluded you, or that you have always eluded. This new life, the dream come true hides in the foolish, in the inconsequential or even wrong. In this grey area is where your hope is. I invite you to choose faith, read on and take action toward these areas that are yet unseen. The life of yourhere, just waiting to be recognized.

Challenge Reality

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

– Albert Einstein.

“I have come so that you can have real and eternal life,

more and better life that you ever dreamed of.”

Jesus the Christ John 10:10

“We must not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.”

T. S. Eliot

Reality: [ree-al-i-tee]

Something that exists independently of ideas concerning it.

The life in our dreams is not truly found by exploration, but by recognition. Boredom, depression or anything less then pure exhilaration from being alive is due to submitting without resistance to a vision that is less than who you are.

Eckhart Tolle says, “Usually people are completely unaware of the roles they play. They are those roles. When you are completely identified with a role, you confuse a pattern of behavior with who you are, and you take yourself very seriously.”

Is the role that you define for yourself working for you? Is the story you tell about yourself producing the life you want? For those who would like the freedom to experiment and reinvent your life, this book is for you.


Lets look at this thing we call reality. In the context of The Life Experiment there are two realities. The first is that which is not affected by our perception, or our story. The second is a reality that that comes from our story.

I heard Byron Katie tell a story from her book, Loving What Is. Katie was using a restroom in an office building. She walked in as a cheerful woman was walking out of one of the stalls. She was pleasantly singing to herself, nodded to Katie and kept up her melody as she washed her hands and left. Katie thought, ‘Wow, what a lovely spirited woman!’. She then walked in that same stall only to find the toilet seat dripping wet! She was so startled to find that such a lovely spirited woman would be so rude, as to pee all over the toilet seat and then walk out like she had done nothing. “What an inconsiderate lady!” she told herself as she started to clean it. She then pondered on the mechanics of how the lady was even able to get the seat this wet in the first place. Was she standing on the seat?!… Then it dawned on her. That lady was no lady at all. She was a transvestite singing in a falsetto voice! The nerve of such a person! She was feeling very uncomfortable even being in this bathroom at this point. So she hurriedly flushed the toilet to leave. When she did the toilet splashed up water as the water rushed in to refill the bowl completely drenching the seat again. She stood there and laughed at herself as she realized the person in her mind turned from a lovely woman, to a rude woman, to a transvestite man, then back to that former lovely woman all in the time space of a potty break!

We are meaning machines, us human beings. The idea that something can exist independently from the meaning that I have given to it can be hard to grasp. I recently met with the IRS agent regarding my back taxes and we had a great time! … Were you surprised that “met with an IRS agent” and “had a great time” were in the same sentence?

The story that we are telling about ourselves and the world around us dictates how we are experiencing life. But consider that the meaning we place on the countless events in our life is just a hallucination. This may sound offensive to you to call your experience this, because hallucinations are not real. But are our experiences real? Could there be a separation between how I experience the world and the world itself? Could you be confusing what you have made up with reality, just like Katie confused what was really happening in the lady’s room story above? Could it be that all the experiences of your life result from the stories you have been telling about events that unfold before you?

What are some of the stories we tell about ourselves? Here’s a couple you may relate to:

“I am a young, single, white male so I am just having fun right now. It’s not time to commit yet.”

“I am right brained so I’m not good at making money.”

“I am Irish, German, Italian, Spanish so watch out for my temper! I can’t help it!”

“I love people from Arizona, but the Southern CA people are stuck up. You just can’t find good, down to earth people here, like out there. Its too bad, cause I like the weather here.”

As you open yourself to thinking and talking about “the way things are” in different ways, the way things are in your life start to change. Wouldn’t it be great to have the good life now? I believe it is possible for everyone, even for you.

More to come…