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3 Steps To Keep Momentum and Win In Life

Creating the Unprecedented, Increase Performance, Self Development0 comments

In the thousands of hours of coaching over the years, I have found these 3 steps will help you keep the momentum and finish strong on your journey in your best life ever. They are simple, yet profound.
1. Recognize where and how you are doing good right now. Celebrate that.
2. Focus on your goals
3. Remind yourself of who you choose to be and then change your behavior in this moment so that you are acting like it.
Step One:
Recognize that you are winning and Celebrate!
It is in the state of exhilaration that challenges are overcome and new creation happens. To get exhilarated you just need to stop and recognize everything in your life that is great. I promise its there if you look hard enough.
So, take a deep breath in…. then out… and allow yourself to recognize that you are doing great.
You went to Trotter’s workshop. You hired a coach. You are doing the work. you have that list of be, do, have’s and your top five accomplishments. Tell yourself “great job, you are awesome and on your way!” and mean it.

Step Two:
Focus on your goals! You need to have your exact goal in mind when you wake up. You need to have your goal in mind when you go to sleep too. You need to have beliefs about yourself that help you do what it takes. Too many beliefs that we tell ourselves influence us to quit. If you think different thoughts about yourself you will act and feel differently.
In case you haven’t done much work on exactly what you want to do, or who you want to be, here is a helpful exercise to get clear.
Write out 30 characteristics that you want to BE, 30 things you want to DO, and 30 things you want to HAVE.
  1. BE’s. Think of all the people you admire. Real or fiction. Dead or alive. What are the characteristics that they possess that attract you? Brave, confident, loving, creative, perceptive, smart, persistent, hard working, revolutionary, etc… Write the characteristics ‘you would like to be’ down till you have 30 of them. You start to design your own beliefs by changing the “I would like to be” with “I am”. Instead of “I would like to be intentional”, now it is “I am intentional”. Instead of “I would like to be adventurous” say “I am adventurous”. Choose to be that in this moment! Declare it and then ask, “What would I do if I was adventurous and intentional in this moment?” And then do that. This is how you create yourself to be how you wish you were. 🙂 The more you remind yourself who you would like to be and act accordingly (even if you don’t feel like it!) the more natural it will become. Then one day, you get told, “I wish I was as adventurous as you, but that is just your personality, I can’t be like you.” Then you will laugh and know how far you’ve come.
  2. For your DO’s and HAVE’s. Go down each of them and write a 1, 5, or a 10 to the right of them. These are one, five and ten year goals. If you think it will take a year or less, put a one. Five or less, put a five. More then Five, put a ten. Then while BEING the woman in you have chosen, go after year one goals!
Step Three:
Remind yourself often that you are able and will accomplish your goal! Allow yourself to imagine the accomplishment of your dreams. Feel how good that will be. If you repeat this process when you get up and when you go to bed, this alone will change your life. I promise. The thing about it is that it’s too easy to do. Becuase it is easy to do, its also easy NOT to do. So, don’t get caught up on how simple this sounds. JUST DO IT! Again, I promise this will revolutionize your life.
This process is called belief design. The purpose of designing a belief is to support you and equip you to engage in your life so that you get what you want. You are creating new thought patterns that promote new actions that give you a better life then you have had in the past. It all starts with your thinking.
I wrote an article with this in mind. Use the link below to get to the post to read it and create your affirmation that will support you in your chosen path.

These things are easy to do and easy not to do. Remember all the ways you are doing great. Nothing and no one can stop you from having the life you want, save you. I am excited to be a part of you getting there. Feel free to contact me for the free consultation to see how Perra Consulting Group can support you to get you where you want to go.

You Are The Cookie Thief!

Life Insight, Self Development0 comments


Valerie Cox poem wonderfully illustrates how we so often are doing the very thing we judge and point out in others.  What are you most annoyed in others? Be assured that your very judgment lies inside you as well. Good or bad, if it wasn’t inside you would not have the emotional response. It would just be an observation like, “Look how angry that man looks, how fascinating.” But when the anger meets your anger, we fool ourselves by thinking, “He MADE ME angry!” Notice when you feel like anyone or anything is “making you” do or feel anything. Consider you are trading your choice to love and be at peace for the temporary relief that blame brings.

The Cookie Thief
by Valerie Cox

 

A woman was waiting at an airport one night

With several long hours before her flight

She hunted for a book in the airport shop

Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop

She was engrossed in her book but happened to see

That the man beside her as bold as could be

Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between

Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene

She munched cookies and watched the clock

As this gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock

She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by

Thinking “If I wasn’t so nice I’d blacken his eye”

With each cookie she took he took one too

And when only one was left she wondered what he’d do

With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh

He took the last cookie and broke it in half

He offered her half as he ate the other

She snatched it from him and thought “Oh brother

This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude

Why he didn’t even show any gratitude”

She had never known when she had been so galled

And sighed with relief when her flight was called

She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate

Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate

She boarded the plane and sank in her seat

Then sought her book which was almost complete

As she reached in her baggage she gasped with surprise

There was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes

“If mine are here” she moaned with despair

“Then the others were his and he tried to share”

“Too late to apologize she realized with grief”

That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief

The “right” choice in fear is the “wrong” choice

Creating the Unprecedented, Self Development0 comments


Any choice, even if its the “right” one, if based in fear, I say is the “wrong” choice.
Let’s say you are positive and really do know the “right” choice to make. If that decision is motivated by any sort of fear, the way that you interact with the world and everyone in it while you are in that fearful and scarce place will just produce the very thing you are trying to get away from! Acting out of fear, results in ruining the good and right thing we were trying set out to do.
Let’s take a high school relationship example. I remember a time when I still wanted to be with “the girl” and she no longer wanted to be with me. I responded to this supposed rejection with a fear induced appearance of love. It looked like doing nice things for her and promising a different future in hopes of changing her feelings of no longer wanting that future with me. My supposed love, was really just acts of control because I feared losing her.
The fear based attempt to force love will only produce more resistance from the other person. In my story, it might look like a girl filing a restraining order! This concept might be harder to identify in everyday life scenarios.
Maybe these will be more familiar:
  • Stay in abusive or draining relationships solely because we believe we can’t do better and would hate to be alone.
  • Continue to do what you have always done, even though you just barely tolerate what you do. The fear of facing the unknown and going for what you really want is far more painful then the life you tolerate.
  • Begrudgingly  staying in a role that limits who you want to be, because of your fear of rejection or disappointing a loved one. (This is common with parents, spouses or anyone who has known your past, and for the sake of keeping their own role in tact, they try to keep you where you have been.)

As humans we have two primary decision making filters. One is primary of the other. We make decisions to:

  1. Move away from what we don’t want (fear, scarcity)
  2. Move toward what we do want (abundance).

Most people tend to do make most decisions based on the first. Again, the problem of this fearful way of keeping your life together, is that you end up becoming a person that ends up messing up even good decisions!

There is a better way to live. Put your energy into what you do want, in your goals, in your dreams. Keep your focus there and watch how your life and opportunity opens up for you. I have a simple way to keep your focus on what you want, instead of what you don’t want. Before acting, carefully consider your response to both of these two questions.

  1. What would I do right now if I wasn’t afraid?
  2. Is this action moving towards my goals?

If the answer is moving towards  your goal, do it!

This of course presupposes you have clear goals. You do have clear goals right? Right!??

Bound To Succeed

Creating the Unprecedented, Getting What You Want Insight, Self Development0 comments

There was once a young leader seeking the council of a famous elder that was known for wisdom and creativity and leadership. The young leader traveled far and finally stood before him. He asked, “Wise elder, how can I become the wise leader that you are?” The elder quickly said, “Making right decisions” and then was silent. After a short while of enduring the silence, surprised that there was nothing more, the young leader pressed a bit more. “Ok… thank you… Please help me wise elder, how can one such as I then make right decisions?” The elder quickly said, “Experience” and then was silent.” After another short while of enduring the silence again, needing much more, the young leader started to get frustrated and pressed again. “Please wise elder, please help me. How can one such as I get experience then?!” The elder quickly said, “Making bad decisions.”

What stops us most in life is when we stop trying for fear of making bad decisions or making a bad decision “again”. Ironically, this very process, if stayed in it, would bring you all that you have ever hoped life would give you.
So what do you want? Get clear on that. Fail forward and you are bound to succeed.

A Simple Way to Create Unprecedented Life in 90 Days

Getting What You Want Insight, Self Development1 comment

Reconnect to whats possible

All of us can probably come up with how we wish we could be.

“I wish I could be more confident.”

“I wish I wasn’t intimidated by my boss (or the pretty girl, or handsome guy).”

“I wish I wasn’t afraid to go for what I want.”

Even if we were to say “I want to be more confident.” “I want to love again.” Wanting is very similar to wishing. In the nature of the language it reveals that you do not have it. Old English actually used the word “wanting” for communicating a lack there of. If someone had a poor disposition and was not pleasant to be around, it would be said that he is “wanting a good disposition.” But knowing what you want, or lack is a good place to start. So who do you wish you could be? Who do you want to be?

To change a wish or a want into reality starts with changing your language. Our language reveals the heart. Ancient scripture says from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Language reveals what you believe. These words lead to our actions. What we will work on now is reverse engineering this process. If words reveal what you believe, then could it be possible to intention and choose the words that would reveal a belief that you have been wishing and wanting for yourself? Can you create a belief by willing it to be through language? My experience says you can.

What would that look like? If you go from saying, “I wish I was courageous”, to “I am committed to be courageous”, that’s a whole different feel. ‘Committed to’ has got more bite then ‘wish’ or ‘want’. If I asked you to meet me for coffee tomorrow morning at 5AM and you said, “I wish I could meet you in the morning,” I would not expect you to be there. Now, if you said, “Jevon, I am committed to being there,” this is a whole new level of intention. Saying that you are committed to be there creates a promise and we enter into agreement to make that event happen.

So I am committed to be courageous is good. And it is still presupposes that you are not there yet. You are committed to get there, yet you aren’t there yet. But what if you were to say, “I am courageous.” That is powerful. That is who you are right now in this moment.

This is a common thought that may be coming up for you right now. “Wait! I can’t say that! I am not courageous! That is why I was wishing for it earlier. I am scared to death of the same stuff still. What are you talking about just saying, ‘I am courageous?’”  If declaring who you are, based on who you wish you were is a stretch for you, worry not. This is normal. And trust me. This is the process of becoming who you wish you were. It’s not going to “feel” true. This is good. If everything felt right and true, that would be telling you that you are familiar with the thoughts and actions that you are engaging in. If you are familiar with the thoughts and actions that you are engaging in, this means you are in the process of creating for your life what you have always been and what you have always had. So, if you feel awkward or things and thoughts don’t feel ‘right’, this is a good sign. You are entering into new space. This is where creating and transformation happens. This is also why most people don’t change. It is often very uncomfortable to enter into this space.

You are who you say you are. Now is the time to dream. Who do you want to be? Who do you wish you could be? What are those characteristics that the higher version of you would embody? Once you make a characteristic into an “I AM’ statement, you then can easily see if your actions support or weaken that declaration of “I am courageous”.

The 90 Day New Life Exercise

Suggestion before you start:

This exercise is a process to act out. If you try to ‘figure it out’ before hand, that is like trying to find ‘the answer’ to your question. Like I mentioned above, “the answer” will only seem like “the answer” to you because it is in alignment with your past and what you already think is true. If something lines up with what you already think is true and you embrace it and think it and do it, you will end up getting what you have always had. This exercise is about creating new and abundant life. More then you have ever had. This is not a “think” exercise. This is a “do” exercise. What you think is not important here. It is all fine and good. As long as you do the steps below you will experience a possibility for new life. I promise.

Step one:

Write down at least 10 people that you admire.

Think big and out of the box. These people can be dead or alive, real or fiction, known or unknown by you.

Step two:

Now write out 30 characteristics that you admire and resonate with the most.

What are those ways of being? What is it about those people that really attract you? Keep writing until you get 30. Honesty, courage, adventurous, loving, giving, stead-fast, wise, authentic, willing to fight… Write ‘em down! Even if one comes to you that isn’t a part of any of the people you admire, put those down too. The hero and people you admire is just a great way to come up with the characteristics you resonate with the most. Getting clear on the characteristics is most important.

Step three:

Pick your top 5 characteristics.

The characteristics are reminders of who you ‘want’ to be. But remember, “wanting” is nothing more then a wish or a fantasy, which doesn’t do you much good, save take you out of the present moment.

Step four:

Write out your chosen top 5 characteristics as “I AM” statements.

You can completely change your whole life in 90 days if you are intentional about it. As with the examples above, if courage was one of your characteristics, you write, “I am courageous.” Write them as a note in your phone, email them to yourself, write them on your hand and on paper. Carry them around. Write them on your mirror and on your fridge.

Step five:

Week 1:

Pick the one “I AM” statement that you want to be true the most.

In the morning when you rise, begin with reminding yourself of all five “I AM” statements. This is who you are. Remind yourself to notice when you are or are not acting like it. Now you have reminders of all the statements so you are reminded often. This first week of this 90 process integral in the process. With that, you are going to set an alarm (on your phone or get a cheap kitchen timer) and remind yourself of your #1 “I AM” statement EVERY HOUR through out the day. Remind yourself of who you are. Remind yourself to act like it is true. Have an alarm beep or sound every hour on the hour for a week. This may take a total of 3 seconds and can be all in your head. So no, “I don’t have the time” stuff. It is the repetition for the first week that is of the utmost importance.

Recap so far: In the morning when you get up and in the evening when you go to bed, remind yourself of all five “I AM”s. This is who you say you are. And throughout the day, on every hour, remind yourself of just your #1 “I AM” statement. You can switch different statements for different days. The repetition of one of the five is the important part.

Week2:

For week two you remind yourself of all five “I AM” statements 3 times a day. In the morning, at lunch and then remind yourself right before going to bed.

Weeks 3 – 12:

For weeks 3 – 12 remind yourself who you choose to be in the morning and the evening.

90 days total. This is reinventing yourself!

What you will notice:

When your actions do not match who you say you are it will be increasingly apparent. Following this plan, the habits and ways of being that you are blind to will become more and more apparent.

How you ‘feel’ during this exercise is not important. Your feelings do not matter. This is creating a new pattern in your brain and a new belief of who you are. This is creating a new normal.

The evening and morning reminder for yourself are very important. Get up and get your brain going on a path that will support you through out the day. When sleeping your body slows down, but your brain is still going! So remind your brain who you are so it can work with it and help you out while you are sleeping!

When your words and your actions are aligned in an intentional way, they create new beliefs and habits. When beliefs and words and actions are aligned with your intention, there is nothing that can stop it from happening.

Hope that is helpful!

Here are a few of the characteristics that I still remind myself that I AM.

I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
I am so thankful! I love and act on “What would love do?”
I AM A MAN OF IMPACT
I DO WHAT I’M AFRAID TO DO.
I am God’s CHOSEN ONE, Ambassador and Representation.
I am intentionally in the lives around me to re-mind. It is my soul purpose.
I am So Grateful and Thankful to God right Now for my success that I have and the success that is coming!
God Favors Me.
I am Creative, Tenacious, Confident, Decisive, Proactive, Inspiring, Skilled, Self Motivated and Disciplined. I attract similar people to me.
I SHOW UP as the one responsible. THE BUCK STOPS HERE.
I am present in every moment. I lean into the pain. I love in the face of being hurt. I empower. I remember your name.
I surround myself with those greater than me in order to better myself and go for more..
I participate fully now! I am ‘Ready to fight’. I am at the height of my physical health.
EVERYTHING I SAY I DO. EVERY TIME I’M ASKED I GIVE.
Wealth and Prosperity are continuously coming to me.
I am blessed.

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